


Light x L - Cant always be in Control

by dawnoftheagez



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bath Time, Beating, Being Given a bath, Blood, Bondage, Bottom Yagami Light, Caring L, Cock Worship, Death Note NSFW, Death Note Spoilers, Dinner Date, Dom/sub, Dominant L (Death Note), Dominate, Forced Sex, Gay Sex, Genderbending, Genderbent Misa - Freeform, Hand Jobs, Injury Recovery, Kidnapping, Kissing, Knife Play, Light revokes Death Note, Love, M/M, Men Crying, Misa revokes the Death Note, Murder, Nightmares, Oral Sex, People Watching, Porn Watching, Protective L (Death Note), Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sex, Sex Slave, Sobbing, Stalker, Stalking, Sub Yagami Light, Submissive, Tears, Top L (Death Note), bound sub, destroyed, sexual realtionship, slave - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29204673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnoftheagez/pseuds/dawnoftheagez
Summary: Light hates that he likes L, and L loves the idea that he can dominate Light.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light, Yagami Light/Genderbent Misa
Comments: 30
Kudos: 68





	1. Chocolate Lips

Two nights ago- 

"If you go away I will buy you an entire bucket of apples, I have a plan." Light growled and the death god. Ryuk smiled happily at the idea, he quickly disappeared. Light walked into his room and quickly closed the door, he knew he was being watched by L. The cameras were there so he would be watched. 

He had a crush on L, and hated himself for it, he was Kira, the new god. 

Yet L made his mind run wild, he wanted to be with him. He wanted to have sex with L, he wanted to have a relationship with him. He woulnd maybe kill him eventually, but for now all he wanted was love.

"L...fuck.." He groaned walking back and forth. L watched the screen listening to him mutter his name. 

"L..L..L...gods why can I not get your name out of my head. 

L smirked seeing he was driving him crazy, however he realized it wasn't becasue He was mad, he was.. Horny. L didn't know if he should watch as Light sat on his bed and removed his clothes, L's face grew pink, Lights cock was surprisingly large. Light began to jack himself off moaning L's name. 

L's eyes grew wide, Kira would never do that, Kira wouldn't want to have sex with the one person who was trying to ruin his life. Light moaned as he grew close to cumming. He stopped and turned on a video of two men in a dominate and submissive relationship, the sub was tied up. 

L watched for a moment, was Light showing that he wanted to tie him up? That was when Light said another surprising thing. "I wish you would tie me up L..I want you to teach me everything you know..I want to help you catch Kira..I want to keep you pleasured while..while we hunt..Fuck!" He moaned as he came. 

For Light this was almost all true. He did, he wanted to be the submissive, he had so much stress and was always so dominate in all other aspects in his life that he wanted to be released of it. However he wanted to show L that he was not going to win. 

He cleaned himself up and laid naked on the bed, L began to jack off to the idea of being inside Light, watching his body was increasingly curious he hadn't touched his sweets as he watched Light. Was Light really doing this, he thought his secret was that he was Kira, however it seemed that his real secret was he was gay and in love with L.

Light knew looking at the camera would instantly give tell of who he was, so he closed his eyes and began to think of L. His cock grew hard once more and L came after watching him. 

Light smiled, he knew L had seen. If L rejected him for it, he understood, but he prayed that he would become the dominate to the new god.   
\---------------------------------------

"Ryuzaki," Light mused looking him over. "Whats that look for?"

"I have deducted that you are very distracting." He replied back looking towards the brunet, Light laughed at his reply. 

"How so?"

"If you are Kira, you have chosen to leave chocolate on your lips to distract me from my work. If you are Light, you are purely incapable of eating without making a mess." L replied his dark eyes staring at the chocolate crumbs. He wanted to mention seeing him jack off to gay porn the other night but he had to stay silent for the time. 

Light laughed, it was interesting, he was Kira however he didn't know he had chocolate on his lips. They were in the room alone together, L looked him over then around the room and pounced on him, Light was tackled onto the floor. L held his hands down and began to kiss him sucking the sweetness from his lips. Light struggled for a moment before he gave into the kiss. Ryuk cocked his head in question, these humans were entertaining. L pulled away, Light looked at him with concern. "Are...are you..was that only for the chocolate?"

"It may not have been just about the chocolate." L replied, he was still holding him down. "You are not Kira."

"How did your percentage change so quickly?" Light asked raising an eyebrow, he had to have seen him play with himself the other night. 

"If Light-kun was Kira, he would not have let me be the dominate one. Kira is to big headed, and always wants to win. Kira is a dominate, it seems Light-kun is submissive."

Ryuk was laughing his ass off as Light stared at L, "L...." His plan was working, it was really working.

"Shush, I see more chocolate." L lied as he began to kiss him once again, he no longer held his arms against the floor, however he stayed on top of him. Light kissed him back, he was surprised that he wanted to be under L. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Ryuk watched them, was this a normal interaction. He turned his head out the window to see the others coming back to their hide out. He snickered and sat waiting for the reaction of the others walking in on the two kissing. 

It quickly took a turn as L grabbed Lights wrists and held them above his head. "So Light-kun you are now my submissive hmm? You are clearly not Kira, so now you can be my detective helper alright Light-Kun? Would you be willing to be in a relationship? I have never had a boyfriend before."

Light began to stammer. "I..I yeh..yeah okay...okay..L...you are my dominate.. and I am your submissive. Does that mean we are going to have sex?"

"Once you are comfortable. For now this..I want you to eat more sugar..your lips taste good. Plus I noticed you do not eat much other than fruit and the occasional steak or snack. Eat more, I do not want my boyfriend to die because he has not eaten enough. Understood?"

Light looked to him and side eyed Ryuk. "Yes...yes L.."

"Good boy," L smirked and began to kiss him more holding him still, that was when the door opened. L didn't move but Lights eyes opened wide. His father was staring at them, L fought as he was dragged off Light. 

"What are you doing!" He asked. "I thought you thought Light was Kira? Is this some sort of ploy to get him to come clean?" Light sat up watching his father with fear, he did not want his father to be angry at him. He strangely wanted a relationship with L.

"No, I have deduced Light is not Kira. For Kira would have never allowed me to kiss him in such a way. I do not know who Kira is but Kira is not Light." L replied looking them over, he pulled Light up to his feet and held his hand in his own. "Light is now my boyfriend, if you will not accept that he is gay he shall live with me now." 

Lights father stepped back for a moment, Light was looking at L with admiration, while he wanted to be angry he realized his son actually liked L. "No...he is still my son, you can't just steal him away. Does that mean the cameras in his room can go away?"

Light knew it was time to act. He pulled his hand away from L and his face grew red with embarsement. "Cameras..cameras in my room..whos been whos been watching the videos?"

"Me Light-Kun."

"You mean you saw the..saw the other night..oh gods....oh...I..oh you must think I am crazy...I..I didn't know you were watching me.. If I would have known there were cameras I would have not...not."

"Light-kun it was increasingly attractive and I have enjoyed seeing you nude everyday, but the other night was very good. I did it with you." Lights eyes grew wide, his face was even more red than it was before. Ryuk cackled.

He looked to his father, he had question on his face but didn't pry. "Yes the cameras can go." Light replied. "I do request that Light and I spend time together without anyone else. And that he sleeps with me in my bed or me in his bed every once in a while."

"He is his own man he chooses that."

L smiled "Thank you." Light continued to be embarrassed, Light was watching him dress, and he jacked off with him? Ryuk snickered watching his humans face grow redder. "Light and I will be going out tonight."

"We are?" 

"Yes."

"Okay of course." Light panicked he needed to set someone to die while they would be out so he had an alibi. While L no longer thought of him as Kira. He needed to make sure time when they were alone wouldn't be the only time people weren't dying. "Im gonna go and clean myself up..I need some time to..oh..just think.." Light headed to the bathroom and quickly began to write names of criminals on the paper in his watch. He cleaned his face up and quickly headed out when he ran into L. 

L smiled. "I am so glad you are not Kira. I would have been devastated. I love you Light Yagami. I would hate to have to kill you." 

Light gulped and nodded. "I would hate to die." 

"We will have dinner and then we will have sex if that is something you want?"

"Yes sir." Light muttered. He knew playing the submissive to a T would help keep him from being under scrutiny once again.

"Sir..I like that." L smiled and licked his lips and gave him one more kiss. "Go home and change and get ready, the cameras will be gone by tonight."

He smiled, hed finally have his full journal to get a hold of but for now he was actually really excited about the night to come.


	2. Apple Pie and Creme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Should I keep going?

Light paced back and forth watching out the window, lights passed by the window, Ryuk laughed as he watched him. 

“It’s only a date.”

“No it isn’t, it’s more then that. It’s a mission and..and a real relationship. You wouldn’t understand Death god.”

“I expect apples if I don’t come along.”

“Of course..” he snarled. He looked himself over in the mirror his palms resting against the bathroom sink. He nodded to himself, he would be fine. 

That was when he heard the knock on the door, he straightened out his shirt and opened the door. “Hello Light.” 

“L-“

“No Light it’s Ryuzaki.”

“Yes of course I apologize..” he muttered rubbing the back of his neck.

L smiled. “Don’t apologize, it’s still a working curve.” Beads of sweat ran down his neck. “Are you worried Light-kun?”

“Nervous I’ve never gone on a date before...”

“Don’t be it’s my first date too.” L replied. “Dinner and dessert and then more dessert.” L winked. Light flushed and nodded. 

“Of course Ryuzaki.” Light followed him to the car, they had a driver so they could sit in the back of the car alone. Light smiled watching out the window. L grabbed his hands, Light looked to him.

“I have a gift for you. You said you’d be my submissive so I have something.”

Light raised his eyebrows. “What is it?”

“A necklace, it’s a dog tag. So it just has an L on it. I’ll know it’s L for my name everyone else will think it’s for your name.” L smiled and placed it on his neck. Light held the dog tag in his hand and smiled, his face grew red again. 

The Kira in him was fighting to do more than just sit and be L’s submissive but his Light side wanted nothing more. “Thank you!” Light said happily leaning into L. L cupped his cheek and began to kiss him. Light melted into the kiss. 

“Light the car stopped.” L muttered as he planted small kisses on his face. “We need to go and eat.”

“Alright..” Light whined. L snickered and grabbed his hand. The two entered the diner, dinner itself was uneventful until dessert. L ordered every single dessert they had available and ate at least half of all of them if not everything to make sure Light had some. 

“I want to taste it on you.” L muttered. 

“Yes sir...” Light laughed. As he ate some apple pie he began to think of Ryuk. He then looked to the clock. A few criminals should be dropping dead. He ignored the clock and everyone else and focused on L. 

“Ready?”

“Yes, we should go to the car.”

“Yes baby.” L smiled. “My little Light.”

Light balled up his fist. “Im not little...”

“You’re shorter and younger. So little.”

Light blushed, he unclenches his fist. L walked him out. They got in the car and L instantly jumped him. “Fuck you taste so good!” L mumbled as he kissed him a few more times, their tongues swirling around one another. “All that sugar..it’s so good!” L growled licking his lips. 

Light moaned into the kisses. L smirked and pulled Light into his lap. Light moaned as L began to rock his hips into him. L smirked. “Ride me.” 

Light froze, he began to rock his hips and L grabbed his hair in his fist. “Lap dance.” 

Light muttered and began to do as he was requested. Soon they arrived at Ls current residence. L picked up Light and carrier him up the stairs and tossed him on the bed. Light watched him with question as L began to undress himself. 

“Clothes off now.” L ordered. Light took off his top then his pants. L stopped him before he got his boxers off. L’s large cock hung down as he grabbed the hem of his boxers. “Mine.” L snarled and ripped them off. Light moaned as L began to rub his cock against Light. L dragged him off the bed.

L smiled and laid Light on his knees, Light didn’t know how to react. He knew that there was a myriad of emotions they were plaguing him. L watched him as he walked around him slowly. “Light love open your mouth.” L snarled. Light watched him for a moment before L tipped his chin upward. “Light open your damn mouth.” Light nodded and slowly opened his mouth. “Good boy.”

L began to fuck his mouth roughly, L held his head by his hair. Light tried to pull away gagging on his cock, L snickered. “If you pull away my cums going to shoot you in the eye swallow it.” 

Light gasped as the cock was thrusted deeper into his throat. He gagged again as hot cum shot the back of his throat, L pulled away and Light swallowed coughing. 

“Good boy.” L praised, Light breathed heavily as he was thrown on the bed once more before he could think L had his legs spread, his ankles were tied to the bed posts, soon his wrists were tied behind his back they they too were tied to the bead posts. He was in an upright kneeling position his ass pushed out. His head hung down as L fixed a ball gag into his open mouth. L smiled as saliva began to drip down. 

L turned on the radio and returned to his pet. “Alright little Light. Prepare yourself,” L snickered spitting into his virgin hole. “This is what you wanted isn’t it? I watched what you jacked off to. I watched as you begged for me to tie you up. I jacked my cock off to you as you laid naked in your bed.” L began to work a finger in the tight hole. Light wiggled the best he could as L used his other hand to play with his rock hard cock. 

Another two fingers slid into him. Light moaned out in pleasure as L milked him, his eyes grew wide as L stood and began to slowly insert his cock inside him. Light screamed into the gag as L began to speed up his thrusts. He wrapped his hand around his neck and grasped the chain around his neck. 

Saliva dribbled down his face as cum squirted from his penis. L moaned out as Light wiggled, his tight ass grew tighter and he came. Hot cum squirted into his hole, he pulled out and the cum began to drip. L tuned his attention to the radio ad names of criminals who died within the last few hours came off. 

Any doubts L had about Light being Kira were all gone. There was no way he could have heard of these criminals while being together. He was tied up being used by L, the best detective alive. If Light was the killer he wouldn’t have had anyways to know about them. Lights eyes flicked wide hearing names of people he didn’t recognize. Who else had a book?

L walked behind Light once again. “Whoever Kira is, it isn’t you, you’ve been under my control while people have been dying. So now I need your help to find Kira, the real one.”

Light nodded, he wanted to speak, before he could look towards L he felt a hard spank crack across his ass. 

L smirked and began to fuck in his hole. “You help me find Kira pet”

He nodded with a smile, he needed to find out who this new Kira was


	3. Devoted to God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Misa is now genderbent, and this obsessions' is clearly a little intense

"Light-kun." L muttered pushing on his slaves shoulder. Light woke his eyes opening slowly, he shielded his face from the light pouring in from the window. He smiled and looked up towards his new master, Ryuk was pearched at the end of the bed watching him with slitted eyes. 

The Shinigami growled, he was starving he was promised a bucket full of apples. Light watched Ryuk from the corner of his eye while L kissed him up and down. "Apples bitch." 

Light tried his hardest not to laugh, even thought it seemed like a threat hearing the two words but together in one sentence nearly sent him over. L was holding him close, Light nodded towards Ryuk who seemed to cheer up at the nod. "More have died, so now I really do not suspect you. Alright little Light."

Lights eyes grew wide. "More have died?" Who was doing it, there had to be a second Kira. He wanted to growl but knew L would question it. Ryuk watched the two with question, Light was clearly upset that someone else was out there killing, and it was clear that L no longer supsected his human as a suspect. He began to laugh at their situation when he saw a bowl on the counter, how had he missed them. Apples.

He stalked towards the bowl, Light snapped his head towards Ryuk. 

L watched his pet with question. "Everything okay Light-kun?"

"Yes sir sorry...I just thought I saw something over by the fruit bowl." 

Ryuk stopped moving, his claws caressing an apple. "I dont' see anything, is Light-kun feeling alright?"

"Yes yes sorry I just thought I saw something it would be silly if there was anything wouldn't there be?"

L only nodded and stood, he was still naked, he began to dress himself. "Light-kun, get dressed. I expect to see you back here within the next little while but I know you have school. Take some fruit with you alright, eat I do not want you to starve pet."

"Yes master of course." Light replied as he too began to dress. L stalked towards him and began to kiss him, their kiss was almost instinctual now, while it hadn't been long their relationship was already starting to flourish. Ryuk smiled knowing his human would be grabbing at least two apples for him if not buy him more on the way to school. L pushed Light towards the bowl of fruit then out the door. 

Ryuk stared hungrily as he snatched the apples once they were clear of headquarters. "You have to be more careful with the apples Ryuk, I know I promised you a bucket and I will buy you some. Maybe in the future I can buy an apple orchard."

"Youd do that Kira?"

"If it kept you out of the bedroom."

"Intriguing." Ryuk said with a smile as he munched the apples. Light stopped at the market and got him a large bag full. 

"For while I am in class don't ge-" Light stopped speaking when he felt someone watching him.

Ryuk stiffened, another Shinigami? The boy wielding him smiled, he looked like a fan boy of Light.

"God."

Light turned quickly to see a boy about his age possibly a bit older staring him down. "I...who are you?"

"You have not made the deal God?" The boy asked pointing to his eyes. "Then I can be your eyes!"

"Wait...you are the second Kira?"

"Yes I am. Am I pleasing you?"

"Just dont get carried away, alright boy."

"I am older than you by a year, you are the boy." 

Light scoffed, "name?"

"I can show you at home."

"I have class."

"Could be dangerous L you know."

Light side stepped setting his bag of apples down. Ryuk didn't care if they floated around the newcomer. "I have class." Light growled once again, the boy laughed. 

"No come on Light." The boy stepped forward grabbing Lights wrist. Light realized he wasn't going to get out of this. "Please. Come on let me worship my god."

"Name first."

"Milo, now come on." 

"You dont understand L is waiting for me after school, we have arrangements." Light ran his free hand through his hair, doing so exposed his chest and freed his neck up some. Milo eyed his body, his neck had a few love bites and his waist had hand marks. Ryuk laughed as he finished the bag of apples off.

Milo cocked his head and then realized what he meant by that, "You are having sex with enemy? Is he keeping you as a slave? Are you in danger? Do you need a real man to save you?" Milo asked looking him over, did that mean his God was also gay? Did that mean he had a chance?

"No. I am perfectly fine Milo, I really needed to get to school. Please."

"No, I must save you Light, my god I must show you what a real man is." Light began to panic, Milo smirked and dragged him along. "I will help you learn what a real man does for his god. So I assume you are a bottom, kinda silly for a god but if thats what you like."

"Ryuk help me." Light snarled, his shinigami only laughed. 

"I do not interfere, enjoy the sex you asked me not to be in your bed so I will go find some apples."

"Milo please you gotta.." Before Light could finish what he was saying Milo swept his feet out from under him. Light tried to fight him but it was clear it would not be working. "If you get caught you cannot say a word about kira or the death note!" Light snarled as he scratched his assailant. Milo only laughed. 

"Rem won't let me get caught. Right Rem?" Milo asked.

Rem nodded rolling her eyes. Milo was over his head. Light struggled for his phone, he tried to send a text to L only to have his phone grabbed and thrown into the trash. "Hey wait okay Milo, look I can't do this..this isn-" 

Milo growled. "I will kill you if you deny me."

It didn't take long after that for Light to give up. Milo was clearly bigger than him, and stronger. 

He prayed L would save him. 

"At least kill some people while you have me captive it will seem odd no deaths are happening." Light whined as they entered a strange apartment. Pictures of him covered Milo's wall, they were images from his daily life. A stalker, how had he not noticed? How had Ryuk not informed him. "Milo..."

"I love you and this, this is all for you! I have been killing and hunting for you, I got the eyes for you, you are my god!"

"If I am your god, why would you do this?"

"I worship you! I wrote some songs for you too! I am a popular actor and singer, and model."

"Milo, you are to open." Light whined Milo nodded and ignored his pleas as he grabbed some handcuffs from the drawer. "Mil-"

"Shush my lord, if you are to be free of that evil L then I must show you a real man. You are a bottom, so that means I get to show you a good time my lord." Milo smiled grabbing a knife from the drawer, he leaned into Light smiling, Light leaned away he ended up falling onto his back. Milo took the chance to climb on top of his God and cut away his clothes, Milo got to excited and nicked his chest. Light shouted in pain, Milo began to apologize like an insufferable idiot. Tears flowed from his eyes as he cleaned his chest and covered the wound in a hello kitty bandage. 

Very god like, Light thought to himself. If Ryuk was here the death god would have been having a holler. 

"Make it up to me by writing some names in that damn book then give it to Rem for safe keeping just in case. L has been trailing me with multiple different agents someone might have seen you." Milo nodded quickly doing as he was told. Once he was done he got back to Light. "Mil-" he was cut off by a ball gag. He tried to fight against Milo, however the knife drew close to his neck. 

"You are mine, no one else can have you!" He snapped, his obsession was clearly Light, he began to snap pictures of his body. "Now my lord I hope you are ready for a real man!"

Light let out a scream as Milo flipped him over and cut away his pants and boxers, Milo tossed the knife aside and grabbed some lube off the counter. He squirted the lube over his cock and slowly entered it inside his god. Milo was in bliss, however Light was in hell. 

Milo continued for hours, Light was covered in the boys cum and his own sweat, he was tied up in a position that felt undignified, he was on his knees, his arms above his head. He liked it when L did it, not some stranger. Milo was taking more and more pictures and pasted them on his walls. "God is mine!" Milo shouted in triumph grabbing the knife. "Dont worry I just want everyone to know who you belong to."

Lights eyes grew wide. He began to fight against the restraints more than he had before. Milo hesitated and pulled out the gag, saliva dripped down his chest. "Milo, please. You can't do that! You cried over nicking me what are you gonna do when you really cut me?"

"That was an accident this ones on purpose!" Milo said back, he gagged his god once more before he could fight it. Milo knelt behind his and began to cut his name into Light's back. Light screamed trying to pull away from the knife, any movement caused it to go deeper. 

He eyed the clock, school was getting out soon. L would notice he was gone. 

L had to know he was gone.

He began to sob as blood dripped down his back, this man was psychotic. Milo cheered as he admired his handiwork. "Rem doesn't he look nice?"

"I believe this is illegal Milo, but I suppose."

"Dont worry Rem no one will ever find my God. He is mine forever." Milo said with a smile, Light was breathing heavily, his head hung down as sweat dripped from his body. The salt of it stung his back as it entered the open wounds, a puddle of blood, cum, saliva, and sweat surrounded the floor around him. He sobbed harder as Milo went back to filling his hole, he tried to thrash but he could hardly move. 

After another hour and a half Milo had filled him twice and covered his chest once, Light couldn't keep his eye open. Milo kissed his forehead. "I have a photoshoot, see you soon my god." Milo said as he started to head out the door. Light realized Milo was going to leave him like this. He began to hyperventilate, he was sick to his stomach. Why had he ever became Kira. 

\---------------------

L looked at his phone, Light was two hours late. 

Light was never late, what was going on? 

L called his phone, nothing, L called his home and found he had not returned home either. He began to worry, had Kira killed him? Had he been kidnapped? He began to pace, he had to find his pet. 

"Who would want to take Light?" L asked the team. They all had no reply, his father was worried sick but he still didn't know who would want to take his son. He was popular, his name was in multiple magazines and news papers because of his grades and an anonymous source had claimed he was working with the Kira task force.

"Someone has to know where Light-kun is." L yelled slamming his fist on the table, his sweets littering the floor. 

"His phone, does it have a tracker?"

L's head lifted. "It must!" He raced to track it, however it wasn't moving, it was in the middle of a side walk between his school and a myriad of different locations. But there had to be cameras. 

He quickly pulled up the cities cameras placing it near where his phone was and he was devastated. Light was fighting in the arms of some blond weirdo. The camera had sound, and his heart sunk.

"I will kill you if you deny me." 

Light was clearly scared of whoever this person was, he was careful not to show his own face. He tracked the camera up until there were no more. There was still nearly 100000 houses and apartments he could have been forced into, he had to save his Light. 

"He has been kidnapped, his life was threatened." L whined as he began to think, where could he be?


	4. Broken Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapters a little long, however I hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> I hope you all are enjoying it.

Milo walked in the door with a large smile, he was giddy all over, his God was still with him. Light heard the door open and prayed it was L. L had to know he was kidnapped not just MIA. He began to sob as Milo's voice echoed through the apartment, he was singing some sort of song, it was a love song. 

Milo knelt down to his God and smiled tilting his chin up to look at him. "Im back Light, I brought you food and something else." 

Lights eyes stayed trained on his capture, this idiot thought he could take on a god?

Milo untied him carefully only long enough to handcuff him, he brought his naked lord to the kitchen table and forced him to sit. Light watched as Milo brought out a glittering collar. He began to stand attempting to turn from Milo when the boy forced him down and forced the collar on him. Milo eyed the dog tag, was it from L or was it L for Light? 

He didn't want to be to careful so he grabbed the dog tag and pulled snapping the chain. Light glared as he attempted to snatch it back despite the cuffs. Milo knew what it really was, a marker from L. "You belong to me now." Milo snapped, Light only looked away as Milo dropped the dog tag in the trash. Light tried to stand once more but soon his ankles were tied to the table. Milo dropped onto his knees and began to suck Light off, Light tried to move but Milo had him pinned. 

Light whined as he was teased, Ryuk was still no where to be found, and L had not found him yet. Milo was all he had at the moment. 

His eyes rolled back into the back of his head as Milo stood and began to give him a hand job. Light struggled but it was useless, Milo had attached a leash to the collar, and attached the leash to the ceiling, he was helpless. "Milo please...I can't..I am starving I haven't eaten all day."

"Milo frowned but nodded and grabbed out potato chips and a few other various foods. Light was fed, he frowned wanting to feed himself. Milo only smiled as he fed his god.

"Light are you not enjoying this? Maybe I am doing something wrong, like not hard enough?"

Light's eyes grew wide. "No..I Milo..its..its fine." He couldn't make him to angry, if he did he could die. "Milo..would you please let me call my family, let them know I am okay?"

"No Light, they will take you from me and if anyone gets between us I will use my eyes."

Light stiffened, not his family, not L. 

He nodded understanding, he didn't have long to wait before Milo had him back on his knees, he braced himself as Milo began to thrust, he did in fact pick up speed and heighten the pain. He slapped his wound, it caused Light to see stars. Milo was frustrated, why was his master not cumming?"

He began to jack him off while he fucked him. Light couldn't help but cum, he cursed under his breath as he was used again and again. Milo soon grew tired and untied his master dragging him to bed. Light fought the tears as he was tied to the bed. Light was now this crazies pet and pictures littered the walls of him being used by this insane person. 

Whoever found him was going to see things he hoped no one else would see. He couldn't sleep, his back was killing him and the pictures of his ass being filled and his body covered in cum haunted him. He couldn't move.

Why had L not come for him yet?

\---

Light woke that morning and tears streamed down his face, Milo continued to hold him as he slept. Rem watched them with question. "Wrong..Milo this wasn't what you were supposed to be doing." She noted pacing, Milo continued to hold the bloody and bruised false God while the god himself sobbed. His body was wracked with pain, his wounds were clearly not going to heal correctly, the cuts were very uneven. 

"Milo!" Light begged, "please! Please let me go!" 

Milo woke to lights crying, why was his god acting like this? Why was he so upset?

"L brainwashed you didn't he?"

"What? No! Milo you have got to let me go, he hasn't brain washed me. He and I we a-"

Milo stopped him quickly and kissed him roughly, their faces were inches apart when Milo pulled his face away. "I need to fix what L broke, my God I need to protect you from what he did."

"He di-"

They kissed once again, Light tried to pull away. Milo snapped and slapped him hard. "No! No you are my slut, you are my god and you are my slut!" 

"I cant be this.... this isn't what a god should be."

"Until you prove to me that you are no longer L's then you are to be the submissive once you have stepped out of that shell you will not be able to dominate me." 

"Dominate you? You think I want to dominate you, you crazy!" Light snapped. Milo began to sob and quickly gagged his god before flipping him over and began to fuck him roughly. Light screamed into the gag as this idiot child raped him. Cum oozed from his hole as Milo pulled away.

"I have another photo shoot, you stay here and I will be back soon."

Light sobbed into the bed, Rem was ordered to stay and watch the boy. He caressed his hair. "I apologize my M is doing this to you. I cannot help you in any other way than this. Just keep your head up boy." Rem muttered. 

Light sobbed harder. He needed his L. He needed to be saved. Milo soon entered the home again. 

"Light my love! I figured something out I looked up sex tricks to please your submissive and I think I know exactly what you dont have with me." Light looked to the side watching as Milo walked into the room. Milo untied him and placed him on his knees the two men sat naked looking back at one another. 

"What is it?" Light wondered looking him over. 

"You haven't had a chance to worship me."

"What?"

"You haven't been able to worship, most subs want to worship their master. Right now I am your master. So I want you to mark me up, give me love bites, give me what I have been giving you."

"No..I don't want that. I dont want to mark you...I am.." Light swore under his breath. "I dont want to worship you I wanna be the slave.." He muttered. He would hate himself if he marked up this idiot. He would hate for L to see more than him being used. 

"Oh alright Light. I suppose you being a slave is fine. So then hands behind your back, move when I dont say and I will kill your family."

Light nodded putting his hands behind his back. Light whimpered as he was handcuffed behind his back and soon Milo was jacking off over him. He pushed his mouth open as he came close to coming, Milo slammed his cock in his mouth, Milo moaned while Light whimpered. Cum spilt into his mouth and dribbled down his chest and onto the floor. Milo smiled as he continued to fuck his new pet. 

Two days, it had been two days of being raped, cute, and hit by this psycho, had L really forgotten him?

=====

Door after door was knocked on, house after house was searched. No Light. 

It was growing late, but L would not give up, he looked everywhere, he needed his Light. His pet, no one else could have him. 

He had to find his Light.

The team worked well into the morning hours and still no Light.

That was when L came to Milos apartment, no answer, but the sound of begging could be heard on the other side of the door. "Milo please! Please you have t-" Light was shut up quickly by Milo shoving his cock in his mouth. Light pulled away but was quickly stopped by the knife near his face. Milo began to fuck his face quickly, Light struggled the best he could when the sound of a knock on the door gave him hope. 

Milo rolled his eyes and continued to face fuck his god while the door continued to get slammed by impatient fists. "Who is it?" Milo called.

"Police, can we come in?" A familiar voice called. 

Milo stiffened and forced a gag in Lights mouth. Light struggled as he was tied up and shoved under the bed. Milo looked at his walls, shit, no he just wouldn't let anyone in his room. He dressed quickly. "Coming just a second."

Light sobbed, his back was in more pain than he could express, he mouth was sore as was the rest of his body. He knew it was L, but now he knew Rem and Milo would know his name. Milo opened the door and let L in. L looked around the house, he noticed how Milo refused to let him back to his room, Milo watched this curious man as he walked around the rooms he had let him in. His eye brows raised seeing the dog tag he had gifted to Light. Light was here, somewhere, back up soon arrived and Milo was apprehended. Light continued to struggle as he tried to push himself out from under the bed. Light watched Rem, she looked angry. 

"I will not kill you or your friends, Milo went to far, but if Milo is killed the story is different." She snapped at the boy, he nodded understanding. She smiled and watched as Milo's door was thrown open. Light prayed it was L and not his father. 

Thankfully it was, L looked around seeing a blood stain on the floor, his heart began to race. His eyes scanned the images pasted to the wall. 

Pictures of Light from all over, and specifically images of Light in rope, covered in another mans cum, filled in the ass and throat by a cock. L grew angry he wanted to lash out and kill Milo where he stood, but rotting in a cell was good enough too. He then heard sobbing from under the bed, Light.

Oh his Light! 

He looked under the bed and the man before him was not his Light, this Light was broken. L quickly pulled him from under the bed, he was startled to see what had happened just within days of being gone from him. His back was etched in crewed lettering. Milo

His body was covered in small knife nicks a few pasted over with heart shaped or hello kitty bandages. He was covered in dry cum, sweat and blood. It was clear he wasn't feeling well. L quickly removed the gag from his mouth. Light sobbed into his chest, L held him carefully, his wound wasn't yet healed, it was dirty and bleeding.

The chances of infection were 89%.

L stood quickly and rushed Light out to his car without a word he ordered his driver to the nearest hospital and the rest of the team dealt with the rest. L quickly removed the damned sparkling collar and replaced it with the dog tag he had made for Light. Light let out a sigh of relief, he thought he had lost it forever. He held onto it for dear life as he sobbed. 

"Light what..what did he do?"

"He threatened to kill me...Im so sorry I...I didn't know...I didn't think hed..rape me..try and cla- ahh..fuck.." Light whined as his muscles grew tight his wound covered the mat he sat on in blood. L looked at him with panic, that wasn't okay.

His psycho stalker was going crazy, he was screaming about being able to kill anyone, that he was Kira. That Light was his God, but that was impossible. If Light was this psycho god then did that mean Light was Kira? Was there two Kiras? Was his Light really Kira? 

Light was in pain, his blood covered the car, he soon was rushed into the hospital and was forced to leave L's side when they rushed to check his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any who loving writing and reading L/Light fanfics hopefully yall are enjoying them. Should be coming to an end soon but if would love to write some more of L/Light
> 
> Any suggestions?


	5. Renounce God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave requests

Light fought with the doctors as they sedated him, he felt like he was going crazy. L was pacing praying that Light was safe, the scars on his back that read Milo were more than likely infected, and Light was starving Milo hadn't fed him much unless it was covered in cum. Milo was being held in a containment blinded and bound, and Light was finally out cold from being sedated. 

"How is he?"

"We are looking over his wounds he should be okay, hes been raped as you know and it was brutal, and it seems that his body was kept bound nearly the whole time so his muscles are tight and sore. But otherwise he should be okay, we need to get the wounds cleaned but he should be okay."

L let out a sigh of relief. He was at least going to make it. He was terrified of having Light disappear, if Light was Kira then there was a chance he would have to give Light over to the authorities, he could think of a few ways to keep Light. He could keep him as a slave or have him be Kira and help him with cases. He wouldn't just kill him even when they both agreed Kira needed to be killed. 

It wasn't long before Light was patched up and finally awake, L walked up to his bed and quickly looked him over, "Light..my Light..I know...I know that..that you just went through a lot, but if you promise to tell me the truth I will not let any harm come to you." 

"What are you talking about?"

"You are Kira."

Light grew silent, tears began to fall and he fell into L. "I...I...Im..so..sorry..." L's smile dropped and he sat back, Light whined as they were no longer close to one another. 

"No...Light...really...you really are?"

L held his hand over his mouth, his eyes grew wide. He had honestly hoped he wasn't Kira.

Light looked up towards L, more tears fell. "I thought you said nothing would happen to me...if I was being truthful.. I really am sorry.. so so sorry.. Please....please I really love you, Kira..Kira isn't me..I am Kira but Kira isn't me...you have to understand. I am so sorry..so sorry.. I was trying to be..to be..good I was trying to help the world...I know..I know..now..that it was bad..I was wrong. Please..L please don't leave me. I will do anything for you please. I will do anything for you L...I can'..can't..I cannot loose you! Please." Light began to sob harder, his body was shaking in panic and terror. 

L looked Light over, he was the same person he loved, he was his slut and lover, but knowing he was a murderer. It was startling. L slowly dropped his hand, he was shaking but he wanted to comfort him. He slowly wrapped his arms around him and then pulled him close, being careful with his wounds. "Youre a murderer, but I love you, youre an idiot." L snapped into his ear. 

Light smiled. "I love you too...I am not an idiot..."

"Yes you are. You lied to me to, idiot." 

"I...L...how can I make it up to you? Please..how...I will do anything."

"I am not going to force you into anything yet, you were just raped, and abused...I...I hate that you are Kira.. and it is going to be so hard for me to deal with this for a while."

"I can renounce it."

"What?"

"I can renounce the book, I will not have any memory of it at all...but we have Milo to deal with right now..Rem..their shinigami..they are willing to kill for Milo.. and Milo is insane."

"You can renounce the book?"

"Yes I just said that but Mi-"

"Renounce the damn book."

"We have to deal with Milo. I cant loose you to a shinigami."

"Renounce the damn book Light."

"Make me." Light snapped back folding his arms. 

L balled up his fists. "I can worry about myself. If you can renounce it so can Milo."

"Then what are you going to do to him?" Light asked cocking his head, he could tell L was angry. L was more than just angry, he was beyond furious. 

"He reaped, beat, and cut you, he has to go to jail. Or a looney bin."

"L..."

"Renounce the book right now Light, Renounce it now. If you do not I will not talk to you, ever again. 100% chance of me leaving."

"W...L"

"Now!" L screamed in his face. Light began to sob again and nodded, he couldn't loose L, he wanted to be a God, but all he was now was a monster. He looked towards Ryuk who only smiled. 

"Ryuk..I renounce my owner ship of the Death Note." 

Ryuk only nodded. "I will see you another time buddy, I expect apples when I come back."

Lights eyes grew wide as Ryuk disapeared with a smile. After a few seconds Light looked up to L. "L! Oh..thank god... you found me...and saved me. Oh... I am so sorry.. that man was inane. He kept calling me his God. I don't know why...L, L why are you crying."

L wiped his tears away. "I am just happy you are safe. We need to find Kira."

"I think. I think Milo might be Kira L."

L let out a sigh of relief, it was really that easy? That easy for all of it to disappear? Now for Milo, they could pin it all on Milo, or do something else. "Light, what are the chances there are two Kiras?"

"I..I mean I guess there could be but why would even ask that?"

"I just, are you Kira?"

Lights eyes grew wide in surprise. "No, no L! Why would you even ask that? I thought you didn't suspect me anymore? I thought I was in the clear with you?" He began to sob harder. 

L realized his mistake. He held him close, but careful. "Never scare me like that again, I am so sorry. I just with Milo calling you his God I had to make sure I am so sorry. I am sorry baby boy. I am sorry." L kissed Lights face and held him, his body was bruised and his back still looked horrible. 

"Do you still love me?"

"I will never stop loving you." L replied back as Light cuddled into him and he soon fell asleep in L's arms. L would come up with something at some point, he had to save his Light. "I would give up everything for you, you stupid boy." L whispered into his hair. 

Tears fell form his eyes. How could Light do something like that? 

Had he fallen in love with Light or Kira?

Was he the one going crazy?"

Maybe Light was right, maybe they should have waited till Milo was somewhere, he should have asked more question about this so called Death Note, Shinigamis? He realized he was in the wrong, and he had pushed Light, and he was irrational. 

He was supposed to be the greatest detective of them all, and yet, he had been sleeping with a killer.


	6. Undying Devotion

It wasn’t long before Light could go back home, he was met with love from his peers and family. L rarely left his side. Knowing that Milo was locked up was a bit of a relief but soon the two of them would have to confront Milo and he worried Light would have flashbacks. 

L peppered Light with kisses worried about his well-being, Light promised he was ready for more than just kisses and hugs but L was worried it would hurt him more than he was ready to admit. “We need to take this all slow.”

“But...”

“Shush now it needs to be slow.” Light nodded, tears rolled down his cheeks as L held him close. “I’m so sorry.” Light looked up to him with question. “Light it isn’t because I don’t want you, fuck I want you so bad. I want to dominate you again, but you were raped and abused. We like it rough and I know what you went through...I’m sorry I know this sucks I know you want to please me but baby all I need is you to be ready really ready. We need to confront Milo as Kira and you have to be there. It might set off memories my little Light.”

Light nodded, he hadn’t thought about that. “You’re right, I’m not ready...I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be it’s okay I love you.”

“I love you too.” Light replied, L gave him a sweet soft kiss. “It will all be okay right?”

“Eventually I promise.” L sighed as Light fell asleep in his arms again. ‘What have I done?’ L thought to himself. ‘I should have listened to Light, he shouldn’t have given up his powers...’ 

It wasn’t a long shot, he had made a mistake. He never made mistakes. It was this damn boy, he loved him so much he couldn’t think straight. He held him close and stayed vigilant. There was a chance there were others like Milo, people who knew of Light before he got rid of his powers. He didn’t know if that was the case but he feared every day that someone would hurt him. 

His greatest enemy was his lover, he forced him to remove that part of his life, and he wasn’t sure if he should have. 

He would have loved him either way, but now he knew there was something in Light that was gone, something he would never be able to get back. 

Days passed and finally Light said he was ready to help interview Milo. He tensed seeing him, despite the fact he was bound and blinded the sight of him sent shivers down his spine.

“If you need to step away just do so.”

Light nodded. “I won’t need to.”

L only squeezed his hand, he may change his mind later, he was strong but, he was still scared he could see it in his eyes. 

“Milo, can you hear us?”

“Where Light?! What have you done to my Light! You brainwashed him to think that killing is wrong! You brain washed him to make him think you love him.”

Light cocked his head. “He still thinks I’m the other Kira?”

L nodded. “If you care for Light why did you rape and abuse him? He had to be rushed to the hospital.”

“I didn’t abuse him! I didn’t rape him! I was fixing him! Saving him!”

Light was stiff, saving him? Fixing him? He had broken him. L squeezed his hand again. “If you can talk to Light would you confess to your crimes of being Kira?”

“No blind fold.”

L looked to Light, hesitantly Light nodded. “Fine you have a deal. A camera was placed in front of Light and a tv turned on in front of Milo. Watari removed his blind fold. Milos eyes shot to the screen, a look of disgust crossed his face. 

“No! No! What is wrong with you! You got rid of it? You aren’t..oh no...no no! I was right! I was right he did brainwash you! You’re not my Light anymore you’re his! You bastard! I did this for you! I was making you better! I should ha e gotten more time with you, fuck no...no!” Milo was irrational. “L! L you bastard you changed him! He doesn’t remember being my Light! He just remembers me hurting him!” 

Milo thrashed. “REM! Kill them!”

L and Light grew confused. Nothing happened. 

“REM please why won’t you?” Milo seemed to be having a silent conversation with nothing. His face twisted in pain and then tears rolled down his face. “But Rem. I was fixing him!”

Milo sobbed, his face showed signs of panic. “Fine then I revoke my rights to the note!”

Once Milo said that he began to thrash in his binds. “It was to fix him okay! I needed him to Love me not you! Yes okay okay, I hurt him but it was for him. Look at you Light, you should love me.”

“Does he remember?” L questioned.

“What?” Light asked confused. 

“Milo are you Kira?”

“Kira?” Milo questioned laughing. “I could only wish to be someone so perfect, almost as perfect as my Light. Please Light understand I am obsessed with you I love you!”

Light froze. “You’re a sick bastard!” He screamed at the screen. “You’re horrible you hurt me! Raped me! Fed me nothing but cum and used me as a slave! You’re a you're a horrible rapist and abuser I hope Kira kills you!” 

Milo began to sob. 

Light then looked to L and turned running off down the hall. L stood turning off the camera and chased after Light. 

“Light! Light!” L screamed chasing the boy, Light ran into a closet and slammed the door shut in his face. L hit the door and slid down to the floor. “Light I’m sorry I shouldn’t have made you talk to him..”

Light was sobbing, rocking back and forth. “Go away! I need to be alone.”

“Milo is going to go away for a long time he won’t be able to hurt you.”

“Leave me alone!” Light screamed trying to think. Those eyes, all Light could see was those terrifying eyes of Milos. He felt his skin crawl, pain hit his back as he sat against the wall of the closet. 

L said nothing but didn’t leave, he could hear Light sobbing and his short fast breaths. Soon the door opened and Light stepped out of the closet. He was met with a hug from L. 

“It’s you and me together forever, I will never let you go! I will never let anyone harm you ever again. I’m sorry I messed up before.”

Light sobbed and held onto L. “If he isn’t Kira who is? Why did he rape me? What does this all mean?”

“I don’t know, but we will figure it out baby.” L whispered as he rested his chin in Lights head. “We will figure it out, all of it. First we need to send Milo to jail for rape and abuse. Okay.” Light nodded as his knees gave out. L picked him up and carried him their shared bed. “Sleep now my love, sleep.” 

Light nodded curling up in a ball, L covered him in blankets and headed back to Milo. He turned the cameras off and made sure he was alone before cracking his knuckles. 

“Nobody hurts my Light.” L snarled as he grew close to him his hand in a fist. “You’ll be lucky to go to jail, you may not last till tomorrow.”


	7. Actions and Consequences

Milo's eyes widened in terror as L's fist came down on him. Pain flooded his system as blood dripped from his nose, "No matter what I do to you, it wont be enough." L screamed in his face as his fist collided with his nose again. Milo tried to fight back, but the restraints were clearly unmoving. "No matter how much pain I inflict, it will never be what Light went through. I will not kill you, death will be a vacation, I am going to make sure you go away for a really really long time, your career is ruined and I hope every prisoner finds out what you did, I hope they do what you did to my Light." L screamed tears rushing down his cheeks as he began to punch his stomach. 

Milo was screaming into the gag as L continued to beat him, after a few more punches Watari walked in hearing a commotion. "L! God dammit L leave him alone!" Watari dragged the dark haired detective away.

"No! No please let me do another hit please, just one more." L begged as he was dragged out of the room, the door slammed shut and Watari pressed L against the wall. 

"What are you thinking!" 

"He hurt Light, he abused him! Raped him, he deserves it!"

"I don't care about that, what you did was wrong."

"But Light."

"How will that help him? How will you beating Milo nearly to death help Light?"

L hesitated and then lowered his eyes. He was right it wouldn't, it would not help Light, but it did help him feel a little better about the situation. "I apologize you are right, I was in the wrong." 

"Now go, I will deal with him, go to Light, rest."

L muttered and quickly turned running off to Light, the boy was still sleeping, so he went to take a shower. Light woke alone, it was dark and he was petrified. "L! L!" He sat up trying to see and yet he couldn't see or hear anything. He began to breath heavily in fear, tears rolled down his face as he looked around. All he could think was that L was gone and he was all alone. "L! Please...L!" 

L turned off the water and that was when his heart sank. He wrapped the towel around himself and quickly raced down the hall. His dark hair was matted to his face and he left wet foot steps in his wake, throwing the door open and turning on the light he saw his lover in tears wrapped in a blanket. L ran to him and wrapped himself around him slightly wet. "Whats wrong baby?"

"Im sorry..Im sorry...I just...I couldn't see you or hear anything, and I remembered..remembered-fuck...being tied up under the bed and kept in the dark when he was at shoots. I feel so stupid..fuck..I am so sorry."

"Do not apologize my love." L replied back. "Please, I am so sorry that I wasn't in bed when you woke up. I am sorry. I should have been here..I shouldn't have left you. I should have been with you. You are not stupid, you are safe with me I promise, but I understand. I understand that you are scared, and you are allowed to be scared. I apologize. I apologize. I...I should have been with you. I am so sorry." 

Light held onto him in fear, his entire body was shaking, he was absolutely petrified. He didn't know why he was so scared, or what was wrong with him. He felt like he was going insane. "I hate this.."

"Hate what?"

"Being scared feeling so weak...I feel like just a few days ago I could have punched Kira in the face but now...now I feel like a scared mouse." He began to sob, he needed to understand what was going on. L realized he had messed up more than he had even thought. Being Kira was giving Light something to hold onto during this traumatic experience, and now he doesn't know why Milo raped him anymore, all he knows is a psychopath chose him to attack. When he was Light and Kira he knew why it happened now he doesnt. 

"I am so sorry." L whispered into his ear. 

"For what? You didn't do this?"

"No...I didn't..but there is a lot of things I could have done differently. Sleep now, don't worry." L replied back trying to keep himself and Light calm. "Just sleep, I can dress later. Shh." 

Light nodded and dozed off quickly.

L was beginning to understand actions have consequences don't always apply to yourself.


	8. Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter another soft L and Light moment.

L rocked Light as he slept. His body was shaking, and tears rolled down his cheeks, he was still asleep. "Light honey whats wrong?" L whispered trying to wake him.

"Stop it...stop....leave me alone....please.." Light whimpered in his sleep. 

"Shit.." L groaned standing, he began to shake him. Light only whined and continued to sob in his sleep. L stood Light up and began to shake him slightly. Light finally woke and stared at L with a look of almost terror. He began to claw at him for a moment before he realized it was L. He began to cry, tears rolled down his face. 

"Im...Im sorry...sorry.." He was petrified, he had just attacked L. 

"Dont worry shush, you were having a nightmare. I am so sorry." He held him closer. "Please do not worry please. Its okay, its okay. What he did was horrific, and what you are going through is not something anyone should have to. This isn't your fault Light." Light was silent, his body continued to shake. "Do you want to take a bath?"

"Yes please..."

"Thats a good boy come one, I can help you." L took Light to the bathroom and began to bath. Light slowly began to undress, bruises, hickeys, and scars littered his body. L looked him over, anger and sadness rushed through him. Light slowly stepped into the tub once it was filled. L helped clean him, he kissed him and touched him carefully. "Please do not be worried." 

"I feel so bad..."

"Why?"

"I hurt you."

"No you didn't, I was surprised by it, but you didn't hurt me. I understand why you did what you did, and I am not worried. Look at your body, you are covered in wounds, I dont even have a scratch. I understand." 

Light nodded, he needed to stop thinking about it. "Has Kira killed more? We need to work on the case." 

L sucked in breath, he knew he had to make a choice. "No..no there have been no more deaths."

"What? Since when?"

"Since we arrested Milo and you have been in the hospital."

"So it is Milo?"

"We have no evidence."

"But its stopped, stopped since hes been arrested?"

"Yes. But there is nothing physical."

Light balled up his fist and splashed the water in frustration. He was angry, he wanted Milo to go away forever. It only seemed logical for Milo to be the evil Kira. "Wait...if if they stopped after after we both were unable to do anything..is there a chance I was Kira? Without me knowing? I mean we have seen Kira control people, maybe someone was controlling me to be kira...no..no. That cant be it right? That can't be the problem can it be? I...I'm not Kira right?"

L looked him over, he coudln't bring himself to say yes. "No Light of course not. Why would you be."

"I just..it seems so...strange why would it all just stop when I got kidnapped?"

"It didn't people were dying while you were being raped," L whispered softly. "It stopped after we arrested him and you were in the hospital." 

"So it is him?"

"I really think so my love." 

"So he raped me why?"

"A power trip?"

"Hes psychotic. He..he is evil." 

"Yes baby, he is, I promise we will not let him hurt you."

"But..but.."

"I promise."

"If Kira stops killing...will you have to leave?"

"I-" L realized the implications of this. If Kira was gone, then he would. "I think so..but you could come with me. Or I could set up a base here but that isn't ideal...."

"Would you leave me?"

"No, I would never leave you."

"Why not? I am broken, what I was for you is gone now....I...I can't even think straight so my ability to be a detective is practically out the window. I can't give you the sex you want, I attack you and I..sob and cry and have nightmares..you are giving me a bath right now like a child."

L gawked at him. "I would never leave you Light, I do not just need you for sex or cause you are a good detective. I need you because you are my soulmate and I love you." He stated flatly. 

Light looked at him with wide eyes. "I am marked with another mans name...." 

"I could care less, that man did horrible things to you, he deserve to die and to be murdered for what he did to you. I promise I will work everyday to make you forget about what he did to you." 

"I...you..youre...I love you.." Light began to sob once again.

L pulled him carefully from the tub and began to clean him, making sure to be careful with his wounds. "I love you with everything I am. I will never ever let anyone touch you again. You will stay by my side, your family has been very kind to let me keep you with me, even though I said it was for your safety I was being selfish. I will speak to your parents, I can't..I cannot leave you here without me. I cannot do my job without knowing you are by my side. I cannot do my job, or even breath, without knowing you are safe."

Light just nodded, and let L take care of him. 

He wasn't use to being taken care of like this, he felt like the last while has been a blur and there was something, something in his mind that just wasn't sticking. He knew there was something that he was missing, but he didn't know what it was. He wondered if he had hit his head while with Milo causing him to forget things. He looked to L and let out a small sigh of relief, this man would keep him safe, this man was going to keep him safe. 

It felt good to let go of control every once in a while, but if he did it to much the chance of him spiraling out of control was greater and greater. Every time he closed his eyes he could only see Milo's face, every time he sucked in to much breath his ribs began to hurt. Every time he moved in the wrong position the wounds on his body burned, but with L, he felt safe even for a few seconds. 

He needed those few seconds. 

He needed to know someone was watching out for him, L kissed him softly. "I will always protect you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dont forget I love getting your comments they help me keep going! Your suggestions for this story or others are always helpful!


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